As a Social Worker I try to keep this in mind when I post, but also not be too censorial. Authenticity is very important. In my work I need to trust myself to do good where I am able & to “do no harm” (or the least possible amount of harm). The notion of doing no harm extends to many of the helping professions. It’s not just about avoiding making mistakes in actions, but also about not setting people up to fail, enabling choice, not disempowering anyone, allowing people the dignity of risk, & being aware of intrinsic power imbalances. In many of my posts I’m walking in the very well trodden arena of social inequalities. This is the proving ground of social work ethics, values & practice. I want to point at inequalities & injustices & make some purposeful noise. The consequence of silence is often the perpetuation of barriers to the eradication of inequalities. We can all use our voices to take a stand against the violence of patriarchal capitalist systems that create enormous barriers against the equal participation of people based on their gender, ethnicity, age, or geographical location.
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#inequality#poverty#ageing#education#ethnicity#gender#ableism#disability#capacity#isolation#vulnerability#religion#conflict#oppression#denialism#marginalisation#exclusion#launcestontasmania#attitude#attitudecounselling#launceston#tasmania#power#influence#abuse#violence#politics#conscientisation#respect#control
I mentioned before that In The Dream House, by Carmen Maria Machado made me feel SEEN, and here is another great example of how. I would say the most painful part of my separation was, by far, the reactions I received from some people I once thought were my friends. When I first started being vocal about the abuse I had endured, I was shocked by the number of "friends" that didn't believe me. Some even went so far as to screenshot my words and send them directly to my abuser to ask him if they were true! Imagine being so vacuous that you hear a friend (!) confess that they've been abused and you go straight to their abuser about it! I mean, do you really think they'd honestly tell you? And did you even think about what might happen to that friend when the abuser found out?! Oh, I felt his wrath every single time a "friend" reached out to him. I guess the silver lining in all of it was that it revealed to me who my real, true friends were. The ones who actually cared about me. I'm not gonna lie, I definitely mourned the loss of several "friends" and struggled with feelings of hopelessness in that I was finally free to speak my truth and they didn't believe me. I truly felt discarded and invisible. It took me a while to accept that not everyone will listen to or believe my side of the story and that's ok. At the end of the day, I just keep telling myself that it really doesn't matter whether they do or don't. I have no place in my life for his flying monkeys.
If you take anything from this post, I hope it's this: that you will believe survivors. Believe people when they tell you that they've been abused. It is so incredibly difficult to come out and admit, and they don't need your judgment, they need your support. Hearing other people's stories has helped me heal in so many ways and I truly hope that by sharing mine, I'm helping someone else. I'll never stop talking about this, I'll never stop believing survivors, and I'll never be silenced again. 🗣️
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#inthedreamhouse#narcissisticabusesurvivor#youcantsilenceme#support#healing#abuse#narcissism#emotionalabuse#cptsd#believesurvivors#memoir#hereforyou