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Rachel Samson, M.Psych @australianpsychologist
Here’s the thing: we tend to grossly underestimate how hard it really is for kids to do things they don’t want to do. There’s nothing wrong with your child or your parenting if your child resists doing things they don’t want to do (e.g., lots of the things you ask them to do!) It’s perfectly normal. Yes, daily life would be easier and we’d get everywhere sooner if our kids complied with our agenda and did what we wanted when we wanted, but that’s not realistic. Instead of thinking ‘why is my child making things difficult by not doing this task?’, we can think ‘it’s really hard for my child to do this thing they don’t want to do’. Notice how your own mental state and your relationship with your child shifts when you reframe your interpretation in this way. Remember, parenting isn’t easy; it’s not meant to be. But the more realistic our expectations of our kids are, the easier things will be, not only for us but for our kids, too.
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