@meredithconstant

I’m not going to post the Uvalde school footage that recently came out because I recognize how traumatic it is and it’s something that one can easily search for if they want to watch. I’ve seen the stills that have rightly angered people, but I can’t bring myself to watch it. I just can’t. But what I really can’t shake is the editors note that read something like: “Children’s screams have been edited out.” Those words will haunt me for a very long time I’m also thinking that someone had to remove the sound. I hope for their sake it was just a one and done audio removal, but I don’t know. I just can’t imagine having to sit there for potentially hours and isolate screams, trim the audio just right so those little voices the police could hear in the hallway cease to exist. Listen to it again and again and again to make sure it is just right. Export the right file. Eliminate those screams from their brain. We all clearly need therapy. But what we also need is to ban weapons so terrifying that a militarized police force wouldn’t go in and take down one 18 year old male. They weren’t afraid of him; they were afraid of what he was holding. Which is no excuse. Again, part of the reason I can’t watch the video is the dereliction of duty and the clear evidence that “good guys with guns” are not the answer. Not even close. It’s also hard to follow Uvalde because I feel like I need to protect my headspace and because - in some ways - aren’t we always bracing for the next mass shooting? I mean, they happen everyday, but we are so desensitized that unless 10+ people die or children are involved it’s barely a blip in our media. I’m trying to figure out personally how to stay engaged and active in the fight for gun control and Roe and all the movements right now without being pulled down into despair. I can’t live in that headspace, but ignoring it is unconscionable. There’s gotta be a happy medium - maybe not happy, but healthy medium - some activist or something that has tips to stay present in the fight without getting pulled under. I just want this to stop. #uvalde #guncontrol #gunviolence #momsdemandaction #everytown #thoughts #guncontrolnow #activism