@lrknost

Here are 5 helpful parenting reminders. I hope you find some value in these, there’s no escaping the fact that parenting can be hard, but as parents we can either escalate or calm a stressful situation. It isn't easy, and it certainly isn't realistic to expect us to do it every time, we're only human. But by being conscious of quotes like this, and the great wisdom from the likes of Alfie Kohn, @tinapaynebryson and @drdansiegel it puts us in a much better place for when the stressful situations arise. @the.dad.vibes ________________________ 🎈Peaceful Parenting Resources: Link in bio 🎈 ________________________ Please respect the work of authors, photographers, and artists. You are welcome to share provided you include appropriate credit and do not crop out author’s names from quote memes. Thank you. 🙂 #thegentleparent #peacefulparenting #parenting #children #life #kindness #faith #feminism #socialjustice #equality #globalresponsibility #humanity #peace #sexualassaultsurvivor #cancer #NETcancer #cancerwarrior #books #coffee #quote #LRKnost www.LRKnost.com Fighting a rare, incurable cancer, but I'm still here!💞 L.R.

When children struggle to physically control their bodies, we support them in ways that strengthen. If they’re struggling to write, for example, we don’t punish or shame them. We guide them & show them by doing ‘with’. We lift them up, ‘I know you can do this. Keep going. You’re getting better and better.’ We don’t wait for perfection. ‘You wrote a number 4! Nice work!’ We sit with & do with, over & over. We also give them a break when they get frustrated or upset. It’s the same for behaviour. Big behaviour comes from big feelings or attempts to meet valid needs. (And all needs are valid.) It is this way for all of us. When we’re upset or angry, the last thing we need is for someone to tell us we can’t be or to lecture or shame us. Kids are the same. With kids & teens though, there can be a sense that we need to ‘do’ something in response to big behaviour, so we lay down punishments or consequences with a view to teaching a lesson. But unless the consequences make sense (punishments never do), they risk teaching lessons we don’t want them to learn: - that the environment is fragile & won’t tolerate mistakes - that secrecy & lies are a safer option than coming to us - to shut down. They put a lid on expressing big feelings. The feelings will still be there, but they aren’t getting the vital guidance from us on how to calm them (through co-regulation). The risk is that they will eventually call on unhealthy ways to calm the fierce stress neurobiology that comes with big feelings. Consequences have to make sense. Maybe it’s to repair or reconnect. Discipline has to teach. It’s not about what we do to them but about what we nurture within them. Is that trust & the capacity to learn & grow? Or is it fear or shame? Often the only response that’s needed is a loving conversation with us: ‘What happened?’ ‘What were you hoping would happen?’ ‘What did you need that you didn’t get?’ ‘What can you do differently next time?’ ‘How can you put things right?’ Because if discipline is about learning, the most powerful consequence is the strong, loving conversation with us that lights their way and speaks softly to the safety of us. @karenyoung_heysigmund

This quote resonates with me deeply. The book I’m currently working on is called ‘Wildfire.’ I introduced Wildfire in my last book, ‘InHumanity: Letters from the Trenches,’ (Publication still in the works🤷🏻) a raw memoir about my childhood homelessness, abuse, abandonment, sexual abuse, and poverty; and about the forces and circumstances and voices that shaped me into who and what I am today. ‘Wildfire’ is my next work-in-progress, the first in a six book series titled ‘My Life in Words: Thoughts, Quotes, and Poetry on the Evolution of a Woman,’ a collection of my written work through the years, some I’ve shared, most I haven’t. It’s intensely personal. It’s the story of me. And it’s no accident that as I’m deep diving into the hardest, most painful, most transformational parts of my life that my life right now is mirroring that journey in so many ways. That’s just the way of art, I think. Life reflects art reflects life. - L.R.Knost 📷 @rebelthriver 💞 ____________________________ 🦋 Books: Link in bio🦋 ____________________________ #thegentleparent #parenting #children #life #kindness #faith #feminism #socialjustice #equality #globalresponsibility #humanity #peace #sexualassaultsurvivor #cancerwarrior #books #LRKnost www.LRKnost.com Fighting a rare, incurable cancer, but I'm still here!💞 -L.R.

You know that sinking, sickening feeling you get when you know you messed up? When you got frustrated or overwhelmed and lost your temper and said something unkind or snapped at someone and you feel like the worst person EVER? 🦋 We all have those moments, even as parents. They’re unpleasant, for sure, but they can also open the door to healthy reconnection with our children if we’re willing to be real with them. 🦋 Think about it. Our children are new here. They mess up aaaallll the time. And they get that same sinking, sickening feeling we do when they know they messed up. Only, they don’t have the life experience to understand that they can still be okay when they don’t feel okay, to know that they’re still loved when they’re acting unlovable, to see that being human is just a lifelong process of learning how to be human and that that’s okay. 🦋 So when we have our occasional adult meltdowns and that sinking, sickening feeling threatens to put us in a shame-filled adult time-out, let’s try to turn it into a ‘time in’ instead: 🦋 •a time in reconnection through apologies; •a time in honest conversation as you talk to your tiny humans about normal human emotions; •a time in relationship growth as you share about your own struggles and needs and boundaries in age appropriate ways; •a time in softening and stretching and becoming your most velveteen-real self that your children can truly relate to and hold onto in their most vulnerable human moments. 🦋 You’ll be surprised at how understanding your children can be and how honesty is not a bridge too far, but a bridge to healing. 🦋 L.R.Knost 🎥 @mother.ly 💞 __________________________________ 🦋Peaceful Parenting Resources: Link in bio 🦋 __________________________________ #thegentleparent #peacefulparenting #parenting #children #life #kindness #faith #feminism #socialjustice #equality #globalresponsibility #humanity #peace #sexualassaultsurvivor #cancer #NETcancer #cancerwarrior #books #coffee #quote #LRKnost www.LRKnost.com Fighting a rare, incurable cancer, but I'm still here!💞 L.R.

Parenting is about what we do, not about what our children do. Sometimes a strong, loving leadership presence will bring push back, or big feelings, or big behaviour, and that’s okay. That’s how children and teens discover the power of their ‘no’, where the limits are, how to manage big feelings, and that their feelings and opinions matter. But this will take time. Lots of time. Being a ‘good parent’ was never meant to be about having children who are always obedient, or who bury their feelings, or who never test their limits. It was never meant to be about that. That’s an agenda that works for adults who want things to be easy, but it doesn’t work for raising humans. Raising big, beautiful, brave, strong humans from little ones takes time. Sometimes it stings. Sometimes it makes us want to scream, or hide, or roll our eyes. Sometimes (many times) our children will want to do the same. We need to let go of measuring parenting based on the observable behaviour of our children. Because so often, when we’re getting it so right, it will look like and feel like we’re getting it so wrong. Parenting can be confusing like that. It’s about what we do, not what they do. It’s about being the loving, caretaking, leadership presence in their lives. It’s about being their ‘I’m here’ person enough times, so you’ll be their influence and their ‘go-to’ person when it matters.♥️ @karenyoung_heysigmund ________________________ 🎈Peaceful Parenting Resources: Link in bio🎈 ________________________ Please respect the work of authors, photographers, and artists. You are welcome to share provided you include appropriate credit and do not crop out author’s names from quote memes. Thank you. 🙂 #thegentleparent #peacefulparenting #parenting #children #life #kindness #faith #feminism #socialjustice #equality #globalresponsibility #humanity #peace #sexualassaultsurvivor #cancer #NETcancer #cancerwarrior #books #coffee #quote #LRKnost www.LRKnost.com Fighting a rare, incurable cancer, but I'm still here!💞 L.R.

Port worked! Thank you for your positive vibes and hopeful prayers, my friends! My scans got delayed due to insurance issues, but I’m at Mayo getting my CT and MRI’s finally (though my PET scan is still being denied atm😒). Fingers crossed everything is still stable!🤞🏼 -L.R. #cancerisnotmyfavorite #someonesendcoffeestat ________________________ 💞Raising Humans Kind: Link to resources in bio💞 ________________________ Please respect the work of authors, photographers, and artists. You are welcome to share provided you include appropriate credit and do not crop out author’s names from quote memes. Thank you. 🙂 #thegentleparent #peacefulparenting #parenting #children #life #kindness #faith #feminism #socialjustice #equality #globalresponsibility #humanity #peace #sexualassaultsurvivor #cancer #NETcancer #cancerwarrior #books #coffee #quote #LRKnost www.LRKnost.com Fighting a rare, incurable cancer, but I'm still here!💞 L.R.

Remember, no matter the problem, kindness is always the right response. When your child is having a problem, stop, listen, then respond to the need, not the behavior. The behavior can be addressed later, after the need has been met, because only then is the door to effective communication truly open. -L.R.Knost 📷 @flourishinghomesandfamilies via @untigering 💞 ________________________________ 🍃Peaceful Parenting Resources: Link in bio🍃 ________________________________ Please respect the work of authors, photographers, and artists. You are welcome to share provided you include appropriate credit and do not crop out author’s names from quote memes. Thank you. 🙂 #thegentleparent #peacefulparenting #parenting #children #life #kindness #faith #feminism #socialjustice #equality #globalresponsibility #humanity #peace #sexualassaultsurvivor #cancer #NETcancer #cancerwarrior #books #coffee #quote #LRKnost www.LRKnost.com Fighting a rare, incurable cancer, but I'm still here!💞 L.R.

Instead of beating yourself up when you overreact and make the same old mistakes again and again or break promises to yourself or fall into destructive habits, close your eyes and silently whisper through time into your past, "I'm here. I'm listening. What do you need? Where does it hurt? How can I help?" Then listen for echoes of pain and loss and fear and unmet needs. Let yourself feel and experience those emotions as they surface. Then treat yourself as tenderly as you would a sad and scared child. Healing old hurts can only begin when the children we once were feel safe enough to speak their hearts to the adults we are now. And the next time you’re faced with a parenting challenge, try to remember to pause for a moment and pay attention to the child within you before reacting negatively to the child in front of you. Meeting your inner child’s needs calmly and gently is the key to a calm, gentle response to the little human you created who’s counting on you to guide them and grow them into a peaceful, healthy, heart-whole adult. -L.R. Knost Follow ➡️ @lelia.schott_synergy.parenting 💞 ___________________________ 🦋Peaceful parenting resources: Link in bio🦋 ___________________________ Please respect the work of authors, photographers, and artists. You are welcome to share provided you include appropriate credit and do not crop out author’s names from quote memes. Thank you. 🙂 #thegentleparent #parenting #children #life #kindness #faith #feminism #socialjustice #equality #globalresponsibility #humanity #peace #sexualassaultsurvivor #cancer #NETcancer #cancerwarrior #books #coffee #quote #LRKnost www.LRKnost.com Fighting a rare, incurable cancer, but I'm still here!💞 L.R. Meme quote: @chanellesowden

Do not be deceived. Truth will not set you free. Truth will set your world on fire. Let. It. Burn. Freedom comes after the fire when you face the reality of a brutal world that rejects truth and buries the evidence in plain sight with eyes that will not see. A world that buries your bones with their damning calcified memories recorded like history in tree rings. A world that buries your skin tattooed with road maps of the hell on earth you endured …and escaped. A world that buries your voice, screams still bottled and throttled by unseen hands wrapped in steel bands like shock collars around your neck. A world that buries YOU deep deep deep in the ashes of the life you set on fire with the truth. Do not be deceived. It is there buried deep in dust and ash and ember, burned and bruised and broken, it is there you are reborn. And you rise from the deep. And you shake the ashes from your shoulders and brush the dust from your skin and gather the embers in your hands and fly away leaving a trail of smoke behind that tells the story of a woman finally free and that blazes a trail for others to follow. -L.R.Knost ________________________ 🔥Raising Humans Kind: Link in bio 🔥 ________________________ Please respect the work of authors, photographers, and artists. You are welcome to share provided you include appropriate credit and do not crop out author’s names from quote memes. Thank you. 🙂 #thegentleparent #peacefulparenting #parenting #children #life #kindness #faith #feminism #socialjustice #equality #globalresponsibility #humanity #peace #sexualassaultsurvivor #cancer #NETcancer #cancerwarrior #books #coffee #quote #LRKnost www.LRKnost.com Fighting a rare, incurable cancer, but I'm still here!💞 L.R.

Being conscious of reminders like these help me through those really challenging parenting moments. It's so easy to get a little lost during those stressful moments with your little one, it's hard to think and difficult to know how to respond. So often, a little self-reflection during my "downtime" helps me to be calmer and more rational in the height of those challenging moments. @the.dad.vibes ________________________ 🎈Peaceful Parenting Resources: Link in bio 🎈 ________________________ Please respect the work of authors, photographers, and artists. You are welcome to share provided you include appropriate credit and do not crop out author’s names from quote memes. Thank you. 🙂 #thegentleparent #peacefulparenting #parenting #children #life #kindness #faith #feminism #socialjustice #equality #globalresponsibility #humanity #peace #sexualassaultsurvivor #cancer #NETcancer #cancerwarrior #books #coffee #quote #LRKnost www.LRKnost.com Fighting a rare, incurable cancer, but I'm still here!💞 L.R.

People tell us not to feed for comfort while they sip their sleepy-time tea. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ People tell us to not cuddle our children to sleep while they spoon their partner. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ People tell us our child is too old to breastfeed while they sip their cow's milk. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ People tell us not to nurse or rock our babies to sleep while they sell us the latest gadget that’s supposed to do the exact same thing. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ People tell us to let them cry, while they go comfort a friend. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ People tell us responding to our child is creating bad habits, while they smoke and drink. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Man, do they tell us! But I’m not them and neither are you. Because we hear our instincts loud and clear and they will not be silenced. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Because even though we are exhausted, we know our baby’s cry is not a protest, but a communication. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Because we know their need for us at 3am is not a manipulation. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Because even though our backs and hips ache from sleeping in that dang c position, we know that little indent on the right side of our bed will soon fade away - and we would welcome that pain in our body just to feel them latch one more time. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ People tell us, but we know. we know this is important, we know that this is right for us and our baby, and we know this is just how it’s supposed to be. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ We know mama, they may tell us, but let’s rest in our know. -Melissa Ostroth ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Absolutely adore these words by @milkitivity_ 📷 @brookeelizabeth.photography of beautiful mama and babe @tamikasadler via @raisedgood and @thenaturalparentmagazine 💞

So much feels broken and unfixable in the world right now. Not a day passes without news of death and destruction, terror and tragedy, injustice and inhumanity. Human rights are just political bargaining chips in a global game of chess where the rules are constantly changing and the losers are always the most vulnerable. It’s hard to see the light, to feel hope, when the darkness of human brutality and abuses and greed and cruelty seems so overpowering. It’s in times like these, when the world feels like it’s spinning out of control, threatening and unsafe and unutterably hopeless, that I remember the words of my childhood rock, Fred Rogers, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” And that reminds me to turn my attention away from the darkness and to look for the light. It’s there. It’s always there. Sometimes it’s just a little harder to find. So if you’re feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders right now, my friends, just know you’re not alone. There are so many of us standing alongside you, grieving the world we thought we’d grow up to carve out our own little places in. This dark and angry world is not what we dreamed of in the daisy-chain days of childhood when we wished on stars and built castles in the sand and sprawled in the cool, green grass looking up at the shapes in the clouds imagining who and what we’d be when we grew up. This is not how we thought it would be. But this is how it is. We don’t get to choose the world we inherit, but we do get to choose the world we leave behind. I know it all feels broken. It feels unfixable. But we can, and we MUST, do what we can, when we can, how we can to leave this world better than we found it. Look for the helpers. Join them. Add your light to theirs. Don’t let anyone (including you!) tell you that you can’t change the world. Of course you can. That’s why you’re here.🌎🌍🌏 -L.R.Knost 📷 @notesontheway 💞 __________ 🌎Raising Humans Kind: Link to resources in bio🌍 __________ #LRKnost www.LRKnost.com Fighting a rare, incurable cancer, but I'm still here!💞 L.R.