@consent.wizardry

I’d like some more communication about kissing during kissing. Some check ins and “do you like…?” I’ve experienced a lot of kissing “moves” which feel performative and pre-planned, as in not present. I’ve also experienced a lot of someone trying something and waiting for me to say I don’t like it instead of asking beforehand. From conversations I’ve had, most people’s No. 1 complaint when it comes to kissing is too much tongue. So are you kissing someone the way you want to, or are you performing? Are you trying to communicate how you’d like to be kissed telepathically? Are you making assumptions about how they want to be kissed? I think it’s best to kiss in a way that feels best to you and check in about how it feels to the other person, ask how much tongue they like, ask if they’d like anything different. The only thing you can know for sure is how you want to kiss someone. You can’t know how they want to be kissed without checking, and they’re not gonna read your mind if you’re trying to tell them to kiss you the way you’re kissing them. This post comes from personal experience and convos with friends, most recently @thelavendersilk. There’s still time to sign up for @viviennevai’s 3-Week Boundaries + Consent program. Starts tonight!! Link in bio. #consent #boundaries #magic #ritual #intention #communication #conflict #relationships #friends #flow #creativity #safety #queer #lgbtq #lgbtqia #nonbinary #MindGut #education #ConsentEducation #PolyvagalTheory #trauma #AttachmentStyles #Attachment #healing #kissing #smooch Alt text embedded.